The DO NOTS in a Westchester County, NY Divorce

At the law firm of Proto, Sachs & Brown, LLP, located in White Plains, Westchester County, NY our White Plains Divorce lawyers have encountered countless situations in divorce cases where one of the spouses chooses to do something either without consulting with their attorney or against the advice of their attorney. In many instances, this could have an adverse, if not fatal, impact upon their legal position in the divorce and the in the courtroom. Below is a list of common DO NOTS for people seeking a divorce in Westchester County, NY or elsewhere.

Common DO NOTS in a Westchester County, NY Divorce


  • Hide things from your attorney. Your attorney needs to be prepared to deal with all issues in your divorce case at all times, at any time. If you conceal things from your attorney you run the risk of your attorney being caught off guard and this could obviously cause big problems for you because your attorney will not be prepared to deal with those issues. Also, if you hide things from your attorney and your spouse presents your hidden information, i.e. emails you thought you erased, hiding large sums of money, your credibility with the Court could be shot
  • Fail to stay in communication with your attorney.
  • Say disparaging things about your spouse to your children or in the presence of your children. This could easily undermine your custody position or at the very least be the starting point for your custody position being undermined.
  • Act angry or hostile in the courtroom. Th negative impression upon the judge will speak for itself and make you appear irrational.
  • Speak with your spouse’s lawyer for any reason.
  • Compare your divorce case with what you heard a friend got in their divorce and follow their advice. Each divorce case is very unique because everyone’s circumstances are different. The only person to listen to is your attorney, the person with the knowledge of the law that you are paying to protect your best interests in your divorce.
  • Get into nasty verbal battles and arguments with your spouse on voicemail, texts, emails or any other social media. If you can’t say it in front of the judge, don't say it at all.
  • Introducing your children to you new boyfriend or girlfriend to your children during your divorce case.
  • Have your boyfriend or girlfriend attend court appearances. This will only fuel anger and resentment with your spouse and add fuel to the fire and they run the risk of becoming a witness.
  • Fail, refuse or neglect to read all a court order in your case. If you violate a court order, the judge will not care that you did not read it and you will have to face the judge’s consequences.
  • Make settlement proposals that you are not fully prepared to accept.
  • Deny visitation because your spouse did not pay sum or all of court ordered child support. This will not be viewed by a judge as acting in the best interests of your child(ren).
  • Fail to consult with an accountant or CPA regarding the tax implications of your potential divorce settlement.
  • Pay any child support payments directly to your spouse in cash. You will have no record of the payment if your spouse forgets about it or has sudden and convenient amnesia.
  • Be unreasonable simply because of spite, anger or frustration. Keep in mind that the more unreasonable you are, the more unreasonable your spouse is likely to become. This will only serve to extend the length of the divorce process and in the meantime cots you a lot of extra time and money on your divorce lawyer. Inherent in the word “settlement” is the word “compromise” which means you will not get everything that you want in your divorce.
  • Forget to make a picture or video inventory of all items in your household in order to protect against your spouse from destroying or removing the items.
  • Forget to go to the safe deposit box and make an inventory of its contents.
  • Be unreasonable with your spouse’s parental access to your children. This will cut against your custody position as it very likely that the Court will view your actions as not in the children’s best interests and your spouse will claim that it is an example of your poor parental judgment.

The Bottom Line

The DO NOT list can go on and on but the best thing to do is not make things worse for yourself by not knowing the DO NOTS. That is why you should never be your own lawyer and that this is why you should always have an experienced and skilled lawyer at your side at all times to protect your best interests.

White Plains Divorce Lawyers Here to Help You in Your Westchester County, NY Divorce

The biggest DO in any divorce is to consult with an experienced and skilled divorce lawyer. Our firm offers FREE CONSULTATIONS in all divorce cases. We encourage you to contact our firm to speak with one of our experienced and skilled White Plains divorce lawyers to assist you. Please contact us by calling us at (914) 840-5104 or online.

So there you have it. Forty things not to do during your divorce. This list is by no means exhaustive. There are plenty of other things you shouldn’t do during your divorce. Like right now, I just remembered that I failed to tell you that you should never discuss advice or strategy received from your attorney with other persons. That destroys the attorney-client privilege and the attorney on the other side is free to obtain this type of information in discovery. You don’t want that to happen so keep your